More Notes to Self

1) I never do this, but I found myself using my super-big sunglasses to surreptitiously read the paper over my neighbor's shoulder on the train this morning. Leona Helmsley is a homophobic bitch. Her attorney is also a moron. He actually tried to get the plaintiff to define "fetish" as the "sexual compulsion to dress up in leather." Well, that may be a fetish, but it sure ain't the definition of "fetish." If it were me, I would have said, "A fetish? Isn't that a small object used in tribal religions?" Or, "You know, counselor, it's like when you go home and try on your wife's underwear!" Idiots. The Daily News coverage was better, but their site is offline at the moment. It was so biased in favor of the plaintiff. In that paper, I read that Helmsley's attorney actually described the plaintiff's goatee as a "satyr" and that he grew it as a part of the leather thing. The paper said the plaintiff looked at the lawyer "with incredulity." I thought that was pretty funny. Considering how much leather, staying in New York and tickets to the Black Party cost, I'm sure having some of the attendees as guests didn't hurt the hotel too much, especially since they don't have any testimony that other guests complained. It also cracks me up that The Queen of Mean would be afraid of a leather man. That's just strange.

2) "Bloomingdales says that mini-skrts are back. What, are they kidding me?" Dude, you do not do a four window display of super-short black mini-skirts when it's 20 degrees (Fahrenheit, even) outside. I can't imagine ever leaving the house with bare legs again, so I'm really not in the mood to buy a mini-skirt. Plus, I don't think I really have the legs for a straight mini-skirt. An A-line or circle skirt is a different story, but you have to have very skinny thighs to pull off one of those straight micro-minis, and that sure isn't me. How did they do it in the 60s?

3) Walking down Christopher Street this afternoon, I pass two guys carrying a boom box that's playing some relatively inoffensive dance music. They're talking about La Escuelita and I'm wishing I was them. Then I pass a guy who's talking into his hands-free cell phone (creepy!), and he says "Why would anyone still carry around a boom box?" Now I can see why this guy, who is obviously a slave to gadgetry, sees a boom box as an unwieldy music source with less than ideal sound quality, but the act of carrying around a pumpin' boom box isn't one of personal listening enjoyment. If it was, kids would have given them up as soon as the Walkman came out. Carrying a boom box is an act of defiance and power. I can't believe that guy didn't understand that at all.

I wanna live in the Village, dammit! I can't believe I'm totally priced out of the area in which I really belong. Bollocks.