In A State (of the Union)

Full transcript of last night's address.

"I am proposing that all the income tax reductions set for 2004 and 2006 be made permanent and effective this year. And under my plan, as soon as I have signed the bill, this extra money will start showing up in workers' pay cheques. Instead of gradually reducing the marriage penalty, we should do it now. Instead of slowly raising the child credit to a thousand dollars, we should send the cheques to American families now. This tax relief is for everyone who pays income taxes - and it will help our economy immediately. Ninety-two million Americans will keep - this year - an average of almost $1,100 more of their own money. A family of four with an income of $40,000 would see their federal income taxes fall from $1,178 to $45 per year."

OK, so what programs will we be cutting to make up for this fantastic tax relief? (Cut NASA) Personally, I'm not that concerned about my income taxes. (Cut NASA) I pay taxes for government programs. (Cut NASA) I want the programs.

"We also strengthen the economy by treating investors equally in our tax laws. It is fair to tax a company's profits. It is not fair to again tax the shareholder on the same profits."

What's this "fair" and "not fair" nonsense? Why isn't it fair for investors to pay taxes on their income? Oh, I see, it's not fair for rich people to have to pay for their extra income. I see. Because most Americans aren't really seeing stock dividends, are they?

"I will send you a budget that increases discretionary spending by four percent next year - about as much as the average family's income is expected to grow. And that is a good benchmark for us: Federal spending should not rise any faster than the pay cheques of American families."

I can be fair, too. This is a reasonable sentiment.

"Our second goal is high quality, affordable health care for all Americans... These problems will not be solved with a nationalised health care system that dictates coverage and rations care... Health care reform must begin with Medicare, because Medicare is the binding commitment of a caring society."

I don't agree with this so much, because Medicare is fairly new. Sure, it's important, but it's not where we should start. Medicaid reforms, medical liability reform (which he does mention at the end of this section) and the cost of pharmaceuticals, medical equipment and medical education are the places to start.

"Our third goal is to promote energy independence for our country, while dramatically improving the environment."

*choke*

"I have sent you Clear Skies legislation that mandates a 70% cut in air pollution from power plants over the next 15 years. I have sent you a Healthy Forests Initiative, to help prevent the catastrophic fires that devastate communities, kill wildlife, and burn away millions of acres of treasured forest."

I haven't heard about the Clear Skies bill, but the Healthy Forests Initiative is forest thinning. Like I trust a bunch of paper-company loggers to modestly thin out a forest. Besides, wildfires are nature's way of thinning the forests. Maybe folks should stop building houses in known wildfire areas.

"Tonight I am proposing $1.2bn in research funding so that America can lead the world in developing clean, hydrogen-powered automobiles."

This will never happen (on any large scale) as long as oil companies have lobbyists in Washington. This is just lip service, and Mr. Artic Wildlife Refuge Drilling should be ashamed of himself for pandering to the more gullible Americans.

"For so many in our country - the homeless, the fatherless, the addicted - the need is great."

Oh yes, the poor fatherless. What will we do about the fatherless? Christ!

"Americans are doing the work of compassion every day - visiting prisoners, providing shelter for battered women, bringing companionship to lonely seniors. These good works deserve our praise... they deserve our personal support... and, when appropriate, they deserve the assistance of our government."

Of course, when appropriate, meaning when it aligns with the agenda of his "faith-based" Crusade.

"Another cause of hopelessness is addiction to drugs. Addiction crowds out friendship, ambition, moral conviction, and reduces all the richness of life to a single destructive desire."

Spoken like a man who knows. Wait, can't ambition be considered a single destructive desire? What is this country's percentage of citizens addicted to drugs? I mean really addicted, not just casual users (which the Bush administration would never recognize, but still). And what about alcoholics? Please Uncle George, fewer platitudes and more facts.

"Our nation is blessed with recovery programs that do amazing work. One of them is found at the Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. A man in the program said, 'God does miracles in people's lives, and you never think it could be you.' "

Ah, no wonder! All drug addicts are God-less heathens!

"I ask you to protect infants at the very hour of birth, and end the practice of partial-birth abortion. And because no human life should be started or ended as the object of an experiment, I ask you to set a high standard for humanity and pass a law against all human cloning."

Way to address these subjects so briefly, so as not to antagonize the Liberals. What a wuss. "Partial-birth abortion" is a knowingly inflammatory term. I'm not for it, because a woman should have enough support to know before her third trimester whether or not she wants to have a baby, but the fact is that many women in this country are so afraid of confronting the subject of abortion that they wait until the last moment and panic. I'd bet less strict state standards and more education would naturally reduced the number of third trimester abortions. Let's fund a study, shall we? And, I'm tired of talking about cloning. Christopher Reeve trumps GW any day of the week.

"The American flag stands for more than our power and our interests. Our founders dedicated this country to the cause of human dignity - the rights of every person and the possibilities of every life. This conviction leads us into the world to help the afflicted, and defend the peace, and confound the designs of evil men."

OK. I agree.

"In Afghanistan, we helped to liberate an oppressed people... and we will continue helping them secure their country, rebuild their society, and educate all their children - boys and girls."

Whether or not they want us to.

"In the Middle East, we will continue to seek peace between a secure Israel and a democratic Palestine."

Huh? What do those adjectives imply? And is "forcing one nation's dominance" the same as "seeking peace"? Wait, I forgot, this is 21st Century America. Of course it is.

"As our nation moves troops and builds alliances to make our world safer, we must also remember our calling, as a blessed country, to make this world better."

Ahem. "Blessed"? Blessed by whom? Oh, he's getting me started.

"We have confronted, and will continue to confront, HIV/Aids [sic] in our own country. And to meet a severe and urgent crisis abroad, tonight I propose the Emergency Plan for Aids [sic] Relief - a work of mercy beyond all current international efforts to help the people of Africa. This comprehensive plan will prevent seven million new Aids [sic] infections... treat at least two million people with life-extending drugs... and provide humane care for millions of people suffering from Aids [sic], and for children orphaned by Aids [sic]. I ask the Congress to commit $15bn over the next five years, including nearly $10bn in new money, to turn the tide against Aids [sic] in the most afflicted nations of Africa and the Caribbean."

I don't know if it's the BBC or the White House, but AIDS is an acronym and isn't spelled as if it's the second part of a brand-name elastic bandage. Anyway.

I think this is a great idea. I'd like to see an outline of the plan. I wonder if it includes safer sex education, empowerment for women, and a way to convince certain African leaders to accept Western medicines, because all of that has been a big problem. I wonder if new HIV/AIDS prevention programs in the US will include reasonable sex education in the public schools, or if the fantasy of abstinence among teens will still be the party line. Thanks for more of your tokens, Bushie, although I'll whole-heartedly take this one.

"And this nation is leading the world in confronting and defeating the man-made evil of international terrorism."

Versus those nature-made evils of, um, AIDS and wildfires. Okay.

"To date we have arrested, or otherwise dealt with, many key commanders of al-Qaeda... All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. And many others have met a different fate. Let's put it this way, they are no longer a problem for the United States and our friends and allies."

George Will noted this last night on ABC, and I have to agree with his assessment, which was, and I am paraphrasing: "What the fuck?" Oh, so Dubya is admitting that we have summarily executed, without arrest or trial, suspected terrorists? Even if he's not saying they're dead, what the hell is he saying here? I demand to know. We should all demand to know. How many innocent people have been detained or killed? This is ludicrous.

"We have the terrorists on the run, and we are keeping them on the run."

Not this again.

"One by one, the terrorists are learning the meaning of American justice."

That's some scary shit, right there. That's not my idea of American justice, as outlined in the Constitution of the United States, amended.

"I ask you tonight to add to our future security with a major research and production effort to guard our people against bio-terrorism, called Project Bioshield. The budget I send you will propose almost six billion dollars to quickly make available effective vaccines and treatments against agents like anthrax, botulinum toxin, Ebola, and plague."

OK, I don't want to get the plague. I'm cool with that. Have we cut NASA yet?

"The FBI is improving its ability to analyze intelligence, and is transforming itself to meet new threats."

What does that even mean? Hiring actual smart people?

"Throughout the 20th Century, small groups of men seized control of great nations... built armies and arsenals... and set out to dominate the weak and intimidate the world."

Dude, didn't that happen, like many hundreds of years ago, a few times? Let's see, the Ottoman Empire, the Holy Roman Empire, the British Empire, MTV...

"Whatever action is required, whenever action is necessary, I will defend the freedom and security of the American people."

Hey, is Bush finally going to serve in the armed forces? No? Oh.

"Throughout the 1990s, the United States relied on a negotiated framework to keep North Korea from gaining nuclear weapons. We now know that the regime was deceiving the world, and developing those weapons all along."

Oh, was the Effa-Bee-Eye in charge of that one, too?

"The North Korean regime will find respect in the world, and revival for its people, only when it turns away from its nuclear ambitions. Our nation and the world must learn the lessons of the Korean peninsula, and not allow an even greater threat to rise up in Iraq."

But, wait, then there is a bigger threat now in North Korea, yet Iraq is the country we may go to war with? Um, whuh? Is this just a case of Bush picking a fight he can win with little difficulty and no mushroom clouds?

"From three Iraqi defectors we know that Iraq, in the late 1990s, had several mobile biological weapons labs. These are designed to produce germ warfare agents, and can be moved from place to place to evade inspectors. Saddam Hussein has not disclosed these facilities. He has given no evidence that he has destroyed them."

OK, finally I get it. They have proof that he did have the WoMD. He can't prove that he got rid of them, nor will he give up their locations. Are you telling me that we need to launch a whole war to arrest this guy for violating a peace treaty? Is that how it works? If so, there are major flaws in our peace treaty policies. Which brings me to the question -- and this isn't 43's fault, but 41's -- why didn't we depose Hussein in 1991?

"Iraqi intelligence officers are posing as the scientists inspectors are supposed to interview. Real scientists have been coached by Iraqi officials on what to say."

OK, that's kind of funny. Fucked up, but I can see a great John Candy/Eugene Levy skit in the making. Poor Hans Blix, the whole thing must be very frustrating. But I bet if they gave the inspectors more time, they could uncover those weapons and hey, presto! no war.

"The only possible explanation, the only possible use he could have for those weapons, is to dominate, intimidate, or attack."

So, why do we get to have them again? Because we're not "evil"?

"Imagine those 19 hijackers with other weapons, and other plans - this time armed by Saddam Hussein. It would take just one vial, one canister, one crate slipped into this country to bring a day of horror like none we have ever known."

God, I love fear-inspiring propoganda. Smells like Berlin in the morning.

"Some have said we must not act until the threat is imminent."

Well, at least tangible, I mean, come on. Why would Saddam be stupid enough to attack us, even through terrorists, when he has to know even the slightest hint that he would attack us would get a nuke dropped on his ass?

"This dictator, who is assembling the world's most dangerous weapons, has already used them on whole villages - leaving thousands of his own citizens dead, blind, or disfigured. Iraqi refugees tell us how forced confessions are obtained - by torturing children while their parents are made to watch. International human rights groups have catalogued other methods used in the torture chambers of Iraq: electric shock, burning with hot irons, dripping acid on the skin, mutilation with electric drills, cutting out tongues, and rape."

This is so inflammatory. All true, I'm sure, but what does it show? Hussein likes to prey on the weak, pick easy fights. I may be completely wrong, but he's like a bully. Isn't there another way to depose him, punish him for violating our treaty, than to take out American vengeance for September 11 on Iraq? I don't think parachuted sandwiches will assuage the citizens of the country if they see war from us again.

"And tonight I have a message for the brave and oppressed people of Iraq: Your enemy is not surrounding your country - your enemy is ruling your country."

Wow, that's exactly what I say to peace-loving, civil-liberties-enjoying, free thinking Americans!

"Tonight I also have a message for the men and women who will keep the peace, members of the American Armed Forces: Many of you are assembling in and near the Middle East, and some crucial hours may lie ahead. In those hours, the success of our cause will depend on you. Your training has prepared you. Your honour will guide you. You believe in America, and America believes in you. Sending Americans into battle is the most profound decision a president can make. The technologies of war have changed. The risks and suffering of war have not. For the brave Americans who bear the risk, no victory is free from sorrow. This nation fights reluctantly, because we know the cost, and we dread the days of mourning that always come."

Reading this, it seems so patriotic and understanding. Listening to it last night I felt my skin crawl. It was like he was speaking empty sweet nothings to all veterans and servicemen and women, assuring them that they're the top, they're the Tower of Pisa, for risking their lives for their country. And who can disagree with that? No one (except for very misguided anti-Vietnam protesters of the past) blames the soldier for following his or her orders (unless you're Eichmann, of course). I was chilled by the easy way he spoke of death and war, even though he never has and never will see it. God willing, I won't either, but I don't pretend it's a glorious thing.

"If war is forced upon us, we will fight in a just cause and by just means - sparing, in every way we can, the innocent."

Who is innocent? Just the ones without guns? Does that make our soldiers guilty as well?

"And as we and our coalition partners are doing in Afghanistan, we will bring to the Iraqi people food, and medicines, and supplies... and freedom."

Again, whether they want it or not. By the way, his broad, grinning face at the last word gave me the utter creeps.

"In two years, America has gone from a sense of invulnerability to an awareness of peril... from bitter division in small matters to calm unity in great causes."

In two years, Democrats were so afraid of harming their re-election status that they shut up for fear of offending the American people's sudden patriotic fervor. Republicans ran over them like the doormats they became. That's the translation for the ironically impaired.

"America is a strong nation, and honourable in the use of our strength. We exercise power without conquest, and sacrifice for the liberty of strangers."

Liar! Liar! At the very least, deluded!

"The liberty we prize is not America's gift to the world, it is God's gift to humanity. We Americans have faith in ourselves - but not in ourselves alone. We do not claim to know all the ways of Providence, yet we can trust in them, placing our confidence in the loving God behind all of life, and all of history. May He guide us now, and may God continue to bless the United States of America."

Do I really have to say it? Thank you for disenfranchising all of us who don't believe in god, or don't believe in your God, or don't believe in an intervening god, or don't believe that God cares two shits about the United States of America as a nation of men. Thank you for continuing to Christianize a country plagued by religious discrimination and hatred. Thank you for making us all look like a bunch of Bible-belt bumpkins.

And can they please hold their freaking applause until the end of the speech? It's just ridiculous. I wouldn't have seen any of the speech at all but that it ran six minutes long. I chose to watch an all new episode of Smallville instead. Thanks, WB! Too much Bush on TV makes this vein pop out in my forehead and I worry I'll have a stroke if I watch a whole hour of him. Sure, I'm biased, sure he read the speech off a teleprompter, so it was grammatically correct, but the little I did see of him... I just don't trust this guy. He scares me. And what scares me even more is that some people like him. Half of the people voted for him. People of America, deliver us from George Walker Bush.