High Risk of Everything

First, I've got eight kinds of cancer in my immediate family, now I'm a candiate for heart disease! I regularly sleep for more than eight hours (even though I schedule myself for less). Maybe I need to hire a maid to wake me up and carry me into the shower. Couldn't I get my health insurance to cover it as prevention?

Speaking of illness, I've been blowing my nose so much that my philtrum is chapped. And I'm still too cheap to buy some cold medicine.