Sinking Fast

I'm getting that blah feeling again. Must be the lack of any meaningful work today. I just showed the space to a very nice lady who needs more room. It's always too small or too big. Doesn't anybody have a party for 200 people anymore?

Plus, I went mad with the spending somehow this weekend, and screwed up my budget. I'd just like one month to go by where I'm not in the red. Is that so much to ask?

I'm feeling apathetic about continuing my voice classes right now, because I'm confused about what I should be working on; what I should be getting out of them besides just the chance to sing, which I do at home all the time anyway. I think I need to take private lessons, but I sure don't have the money for that.

I didn't make it to karate again this week, because it was sleeting, and I chose not to wait for the bus in the freezing precipitation. Still, I punked out. I've still got at least 70 classes that I've paid for, and damn if I'm not going to go to them.

What else could be causing the ennui? The fact that even though I hit the snooze for half an hour this morning, I still ended up turning off the alarm and waking up at 9? Nothing like the day-long still asleep feeling to make you crabby.

I tried to help myself. I had a good breakfast and a good lunch, chock full o' fruit and vegetables and protein and dairy, the way I'm supposed to. I'm taking the stairs all day. I even did some desk stretches. But still, all I want to do is go home, curl up on the couch, watch Buffy and smoke cigarettes. I have to go to the grocery store. Yesterday I ended up having three pieces of white toast and a serving of cous cous for dinner around 11 pm. Maybe it's this strawberry spring/wicked frost business. Can we just have some freaking springtime, already?

Um, I just found some crazy Buffy fan fic site while confirming the definition of "strawberry spring," and I have to go be ill now. These people... I mean, honestly!