Bipolar Thursday

Good morning, kids! I actually got to work at 9:40 today, but I can't keep track of how I feel about it, because I'm in mood swing city! Yeehaw!

After listening to more of both new and old R.E.M. (with Green as the dividing line), I still prefer the old stuff. Give me Document over Monster any day! I think it all ended for me when Michael Stipe shaved off his pretty little braids.

How the hell do 70% of Americans "support the war"? What does that even mean? I swear, if this keeps up, I'm never leaving New York, and I'll just stop reading the paper. I'd rather not know if this is what the rest of the country has become.

The Post had an article about the Tommy Lee-drowned kid case this morning. I was reading over some lady's shoulder that the parents were "in tears," while Tommy Lee "showed no emotion." OK, so these parents are all upset because Tommy didn't have a lifeguard, and Tommy says that every kid had their own personal nanny or parent there to watch out for them. So, like technically, every kid had his or her own lifeguard. My favorite part was where the mother said she was "stunned" to learn her son was even at a pool party at all, because he can't swim. Lookee here, bitch, you just admitted that you didn't even know where your son was, or where he'd been invited by a super-duper celebrity guy's kid. You should be the one sued for negligence, not Tommy Lee. Shit, if I handed my kid off to an au pair who took off before the party was over and shifted responsibility over to some other flaky nanny, I sure wouldn't have the nerve to talk about lifeguards. It's too bad that kid died, but who the hell hires a lifeguard for a house-pool party? Jury says: Not Liable.

Oh yeah, let's liberate the Iraqis. They totally don't need any kind of iron fist to keep them under control. While we're at it, can I be liberated from my country's oppressive regime? I seriously need to do some looting. Easter's coming and I need a new hat. And a DVD player.

OK, I had a minor freakout on the train this morning when I read about the 8th person to be diagnosed with SARS right here in the Rotten Apple. This person had just traveled to Asia. So we know this thing is highly contagious right? Well, right next to me is this guy who is Asian, and I heard him talking, so I know that at some point, he's been there. And he's sniffling like mad. All of the sudden, I had this irrational attack of germ paranoia, which I never have. I wanted to get off the train, go back home, and stay there. The last thing I need is the modern plague. I calmed down, though. I figure, hey, if I get SARS, at aleast I won't have to worry about lung cancer, Alzheimer's, or wrinkles! The power of positive thinking, people.