Pants on Fire

I'm so sick of all the lying. The lying we do to ourselves, to our friends, to our lovers, to our masters and our servants, our betters and our lessers.

I'm not feeling well, I can't make it in today, I think it's the flu. I just don't want to ruin our friendship. I know I paid that bill. Yes, you do have a great singing voice. No, those pants don't make you look pudgy. I swear, I just want us to be friends. I'll only go out for one drink. I'm going to quit smoking before I'm thirty. I love you. I'm looking out for your best interests. Money isn't important to me. I don't know what I want. I'm not trying to pressure you. I'm afraid of success. I like being single. I like being married. You're my best friend. I'm not in a good place emotionally to be dating anyone. You can be anything you want to be! I'm very happy here, I'm not looking for another job. Oh, uh, you were great, too. I'm a very together person.

Actually, most things people say about themselves are lies. Anyone who claims to be "deep" or "thoughful" is usually neither. People who crow about their confidence and strength are insecure weaklings inside. The "artistic" and "creative" do Bob Ross watercolors and macrame plant-hangers, while the "tortured" and "struggling" have their rent paid by the old man. We can't even be honest with ourselves; how can we be honest with each other? What makes us so scarred, so afraid, so guarded? Where did the cat come from that steals our tongues when we want to say words like [deleted, because I'm more comfortable lying]. Or [deleted]. Or even [deleted]. Sometimes we just don't want to be rude, but sometimes we are just too afraid to spit it out. It's far easier to revel in the moment of ambiguity than to have all those beautiful dreams smashed to bits. It's easier to protect your true feelings and hold onto security than to lose the tall dollars for one glimpse of reality. It's all just a big game we play, circling each other like boxers, dancing, jiving, feinting, rarely landing that solid cross, occasionally being surprised by a world-rocking uppercut.

And if I said I want it to change, that I could handle it if it did, I'd be lying, too.