Skol!

When I read that a Michigan man had received a "Viking funeral," I was hoping to read something about the laws regarding disposal of human remains. Yes, I hoped to read that the man's family had flouted the conventions of society and set their dear one's corpse afire as his boat was set out to sea. Nope, just some ashes in a papier mache boat. Boo. How lame. Hardly newsworthy, I would say.

When I die, I want my ashes interred in a large, shining, silver urn, set atop a five foot marble pedestal, and stationed beneath a life (or bigger-than) sized oil portrait of me looking fabulous. The biggest beneficiary of my will would have to keep the whole shebang in his or her home in order to collect. I like that idea. That way, no one can ever forget me. Even if they come to think of me with evil thoughts, they'll remember me. Yes, that's the after-life for me.

How about you?