Death By Chocolate

What the hell is going on in our nation's candy factories? How can someone fall into a vat of chocolate, during regular working hours, and die there? Did he drown in melted chocolate? Did he get tangled up in the mixing apparatus? I'm thinking, I fall into liquid chocolate, I attempt to swim to the side and yell for help. Co-workers hear and rescue me. That's why I think it was foul play, no matter what those Philadelphia police say.

More News of the "Duh?"

You know, I thought man had some sort of mastery over fire at this point. (Also, even though the article only refers to the trees as "sequoias," the Salon link uses the other name for them, "redwoods." Why?) I'm concerned for our giant redwoods. But can't modern technology find a way to control forest fires? Giant CO2 canisters or something? My brain hurts.