What News?

Yeah, I know, you miss my daily commentary on what's going on in the papers, but I can't bring myself to look at them. I don't know why. I go through phases. Which is precisely why I'll never be truly successful at any one thing. Maybe I am just the kind of person who talks about what she wants to do, but is too comfortable in her quasi-struggle to opt for a real struggle. Maybe I really just don't have what it takes, and subconsciously, I know that, so I stagnate. Maybe it's a true lack of any real creativity mixed with some stupid ability that I now wish I didn't have. Because maybe if I couldn't sing at all, I wouldn't care about that other world and I'd be happy in the one I'm in. I feel like I stand on the border of a world I really want to live in, but I won't step over because I don't know how I would live there. It's like the difference between dry land and the ocean. Sure, I can wade out, I can swim a little, but I sure as hell can't breathe underwater. And it seems like nothing I do can make me believe that I can. How do all those people do it? Do they know from a very young age? I knew from a very young age, but college changed all that. I chose a major that I could use instead of majoring in theater and maybe that's what made all the difference. I grew up in a certain way, not being able to understand how to be any other way. Anyone will tell you that I'm kind of set in my ways. How frustrating. I'm only 29, for goodness' sake. And I'm already 29 for goodness' sake!

Crap. I, I, I, I. Who the fuck cares?

Kingpin and Miracles are very promising. Sure, you expect the pilots to be good, but both second episodes were also engaging. Good midseason replacements. Make all the Sopranos and X-Files comparisons you want, there's nothing new under the sun, so just get over it. Besides, Kingpin is more like the movie Traffic and doesn't need as many swears.

Where's my freaking lunch?