Things That Make You Go... Sheesh

The T-Mobile commercial where the guy messes up the words to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" is just wrong, wrong, wrong. There is no way, that anyone who knew how that song went would not know the refrain is the title of the freaking song. How about that part about the "bubble"? I've never been quite clear on those words. Or the part right before the title that he seems to mess up anyway and I've never been able to figure out? How about a different song entirely? I'll tell you why. Some asswipe was sitting around and thought how funny it would be to have a librarian say "I'm hot, sticky sweet" (which is not the upcoming line to that verse, anyway, if you're listening), and worked the joke backwards from the punchline. That is not the way to bring the funny, lame-o copywriter! You sure are earning your $18K!

A baby was born on the expressway yesterday. From the TV report, I noticed it had a whole lot of hair! I also heard the cop say that in these troubled times, it's a really good thing to see a baby born on the expressway. I'm not joking. He said that. I think he meant it was great to witness the "miracle" of birth, or some equally sappy sentiment. As if something that happens thousands of times a day could be a miracle.

Aaron dumped Helene. And she was really surpised. And it happened at Starbucks. See what happens to you when you patronize Starbucks, the Foaming Vestibule of the Beast?

While flipping last night around 7:35 pm, I got to hear a contestant on Wheel of Fortune describe herself as "a Christian." That's nice. Usually people keep their religious and political affiliations to themselves on gameshows, but I guess it's important for everyone to know when there's a Christian around. You have to watch the swearing and the pre-marital sex. Plus, is it cheating to announce your bond with an omnipresent deity?

Okay, if you're "putting [your] daughter in God's hands," why would you have doctors perform a heart/lung transplant? That doesn't seem like "God's" work to me. And I won't be shocked if her body rejects the new organs, considering that she was in a state of rejection when the second surgery started. What kind of chance does she have for a meaningful, enjoyable life? Plus, now she's had two different sets of other people's nasty, used organs in her body. Ugh. The very thought makes me queasy. It makes my blood hurt. Ew.

[Disclaimer: I know I'm using Salon for my AP links, but they have more stories. I don't advocate their new ad-based system, and I don't read their articles anymore. Woo! Breakin' tha honor code!]