I Am My Own Personal Science Experiment

Since I quit smoking, I've had quite a bit of phlegm, mucus and whatnot choking me day and night. This is especially fun when I'm rehearsing. I knew that you cough a lot after you quit, but I wasn't clear on exactly why until my clever boyfriend told me. Smoking coats the cilia in your lungs with tar, which paralyzes them, slowing their rapid beating, which normally clears the lungs of debris. This is why you cough when you inhale smoke (if you're not a smoker). Since the cilia can't do their job, all sorts of crap -- like dirt and dust and pollutants -- stays in your lungs. When you stop smoking, the cilia slowly come back to life. In fact, you even grow new cilia. Those suckers start beating away again, and before you know it, your lungs are sweeping out the dirt. Thus, hacking like a consumptive whore.

Here's the thing: I'm very intrigued by this. I've been smoking for 16 years, and pretty heavily in the last 10. I know that over time the lungs can clear themselves little by little, but still, there has got to be a lot of junk in my lungs. Every day, I know they're cleaning themselves, and I can't wait to see how this all turns out. Will I be able to climb a flight of stairs without gasping for breath? Will I be able to sing better? Will it feel different? I feel like I'm my very own specimen in a science experiment. There's no way in hell I would compromise the project by having even one cigarette. Besides, I don't even want them anymore. I think my twisted relationship with cigarettes is finally over. It's too bad my mom couldn't be here to see this. Check me out: singing, not smoking, great boyfriend, terribly well-adjusted. Way to go, Alexia! Next thing you know, I'll keep up an exercise regimen and drop that extra 10 pounds I've been lugging around for the past 3 years!