The Call of the Wild

Sometimes the Kavorka is a great burden. Even gay men can't keep their hands off me. Maybe I should start wearing garlic around my neck. Hey, I like the attention, but it's getting ridiculous. Whistles, cat calls, and unintelligible compliments in foreign languages are one thing, but when a big homo is sticking his tongue down your throat, you have to wonder. I guess I'm muy caliente. Or it could be the booze.

No, it's me. I'm a hottie. Oh, the burden!

Seriously. Only hot people understand how hard it is to have people pawing and leering and drooling all over you. But, I must persevere. No baggy clothing and bad hair for me. I must maintain the standard of hotness that I have previously displayed, or let down my hot sisters and brothers.

No, I'm not drunk. What are you talking about?

Where was I? Oh yes. All I'm saying is, for God's sake people, it's not cool to kiss the straight girl in the gay bar! Sheesh! How am I ever going to live that down?