Random Notes
I love that Geico commercial with the white rapper. "Always use good manners when you're eatin' a sloppy joe-oe." That cracks me up.
I cannot abide Cottonelle and Charmin toilet paper. It leaves too much lint in my business. Give me drugstore brand TP any day.
A contestant on Pyramid who is supposedly a radio personality didn't know where Motown is. Shouldn't she be fired, or stoned or something?
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Monday, September 15, 2003
Too Much Monkey Business
Well, I guess it's time to get a job. The new daytime TV schedule started today, and I have no idea what's going on. My world has turned upside down! COPS in place of Roseanne! No Married With Children! Family Feud is on FOX and I can't find Pyramid! It's all so disconcerting.
Oprah is interviewing Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and she has Beyonce Knowles in the second half of her show. Tomorrow? Madonna. Of course. Yeah, this is the woman who should be giving advice to regular women about living a better life. A life of delusion, maybe.
Well, I guess it's time to get a job. The new daytime TV schedule started today, and I have no idea what's going on. My world has turned upside down! COPS in place of Roseanne! No Married With Children! Family Feud is on FOX and I can't find Pyramid! It's all so disconcerting.
Oprah is interviewing Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and she has Beyonce Knowles in the second half of her show. Tomorrow? Madonna. Of course. Yeah, this is the woman who should be giving advice to regular women about living a better life. A life of delusion, maybe.
Fame, However Obscure
This is direct quote from Michael Musto's September 8 column, La Dolce Musto, in the Village Voice.
----
More tastefully, the nouveau-claustro boîte the Slide houses a delightfully off-kilter Sunday-night talent show, hosted by saucy Shaboom Boom and judged by Clover Honey ("I'm Paula Abdul with a dick") and hilarious dinner-theater lush Lavinia Draper. Before belting her big number, the winning contestant told the judges, "I listened to your advice from last week. I wore more jewels and this time you'll know I want to fuck Nicky Arnstein!"
----
And who is that winning contestant? ME! (If you don't know who Nicky Arnstein is, feel free to e-mail me.) I freaked out when I read it. I am so flattered that one of my favorite writers, a terribly witty person, thought that I was funny enough to quote in his column. Hoo-hah!
This is direct quote from Michael Musto's September 8 column, La Dolce Musto, in the Village Voice.
----
More tastefully, the nouveau-claustro boîte the Slide houses a delightfully off-kilter Sunday-night talent show, hosted by saucy Shaboom Boom and judged by Clover Honey ("I'm Paula Abdul with a dick") and hilarious dinner-theater lush Lavinia Draper. Before belting her big number, the winning contestant told the judges, "I listened to your advice from last week. I wore more jewels and this time you'll know I want to fuck Nicky Arnstein!"
----
And who is that winning contestant? ME! (If you don't know who Nicky Arnstein is, feel free to e-mail me.) I freaked out when I read it. I am so flattered that one of my favorite writers, a terribly witty person, thought that I was funny enough to quote in his column. Hoo-hah!
Thursday, September 11, 2003
Success, Finally
I finally figured out (with the help of my friendly sysadmin) how to update my website. It's not important what stupid thing I forgot to do; what is important is that now, I can do some updating. Click the link to the left, "Everything," to check it out.
The other night, I stopped into the McDonald's on Broadway near Astor Place, and the kid who took my order had fangs. I'm talking prosthetics. Then I took gander at his name tag. "Lestat," it read. Oh, give me a break. What a loser. YOU WORK AT MCDONALD'S! YOU ARE NOT A VAMPIRE! Sheesh.
And what is up with those bitchy Weight Watchers commericals, where the women try to undermine each other's self-confidence and body image? "So much for the weight loss plan." "Maybe that's why you quit your diet." Thank you, Weight Watchers, for perpetuating the image of women as spiteful, competitive, insecure cunts. Thank you, thank you.
And how are you?
I finally figured out (with the help of my friendly sysadmin) how to update my website. It's not important what stupid thing I forgot to do; what is important is that now, I can do some updating. Click the link to the left, "Everything," to check it out.
The other night, I stopped into the McDonald's on Broadway near Astor Place, and the kid who took my order had fangs. I'm talking prosthetics. Then I took gander at his name tag. "Lestat," it read. Oh, give me a break. What a loser. YOU WORK AT MCDONALD'S! YOU ARE NOT A VAMPIRE! Sheesh.
And what is up with those bitchy Weight Watchers commericals, where the women try to undermine each other's self-confidence and body image? "So much for the weight loss plan." "Maybe that's why you quit your diet." Thank you, Weight Watchers, for perpetuating the image of women as spiteful, competitive, insecure cunts. Thank you, thank you.
And how are you?
Friday, September 05, 2003
Another Stupid Question
The folks at RNN have another inane, obvious question for us:
Should Parents Be Able to Choose Which Public School Their Kids Attend?
The answer: No. I mean, duh. Instead of parents choosing a public school based on what the schools has to offer (instead of children going to the geographically closest scool, which makes sense), perhaps the state's department of education could make an effort to make sure that all schools have equivalent assets. I know, it's hard to think of pulling the big bucks out of the schools in the rich, white neighborhoods and distributing them equitably among all schools, but it does make... wait for it... SENSE.
Now, if you have alternative schools, like schools that focus on arts or sciences, students apply. That also makes sense. But for your basic college prep public school, assignment should be based on geography and funding applied in a way that makes all schools equal. How hard can that be?
The folks at RNN have another inane, obvious question for us:
Should Parents Be Able to Choose Which Public School Their Kids Attend?
The answer: No. I mean, duh. Instead of parents choosing a public school based on what the schools has to offer (instead of children going to the geographically closest scool, which makes sense), perhaps the state's department of education could make an effort to make sure that all schools have equivalent assets. I know, it's hard to think of pulling the big bucks out of the schools in the rich, white neighborhoods and distributing them equitably among all schools, but it does make... wait for it... SENSE.
Now, if you have alternative schools, like schools that focus on arts or sciences, students apply. That also makes sense. But for your basic college prep public school, assignment should be based on geography and funding applied in a way that makes all schools equal. How hard can that be?
Thursday, September 04, 2003
Open Letter To The TV People
Dear TV People,
OK, we all appreciate your efforts to pander to liberals and homosexuals and the easily titillated mainstream by bringing us such fare as Boy Meets Boy, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, It's All Relative, and older shows like Will & Grace, Normal, Ohio, Six Feet Under, and Oz. But enough with the fags, already. Where are the lesbians? Hmm? Sure, you tossed us Ellen, the Sapphic moms on Friends, and the precious relationship turned ham-handed character assassination that was Willow on Buffy, but I think we could do more to give the girls some equal time.
What? You say that you're simply developing television shows that happen to have gays in them? That the increase in the number of sympathetic homosexual male characters is art imitating life? OK, then bring on the dykes. Maybe they don't make as good television as the same old tired jokes about interior decorating and disco music, but I'm sure that a little lipstick lesbian action would boost your young male viewership. Look at the success All My Children has had with making Erica Kane's youngest daughter a gorgeous girl-kisser, dating a dark and mysterious foreign bisexual! That's good TV, people!
So, please, add more lesbians to the TV lineup. It's only fair.
Sincerely,
An Annoyed Viewer
Dear TV People,
OK, we all appreciate your efforts to pander to liberals and homosexuals and the easily titillated mainstream by bringing us such fare as Boy Meets Boy, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, It's All Relative, and older shows like Will & Grace, Normal, Ohio, Six Feet Under, and Oz. But enough with the fags, already. Where are the lesbians? Hmm? Sure, you tossed us Ellen, the Sapphic moms on Friends, and the precious relationship turned ham-handed character assassination that was Willow on Buffy, but I think we could do more to give the girls some equal time.
What? You say that you're simply developing television shows that happen to have gays in them? That the increase in the number of sympathetic homosexual male characters is art imitating life? OK, then bring on the dykes. Maybe they don't make as good television as the same old tired jokes about interior decorating and disco music, but I'm sure that a little lipstick lesbian action would boost your young male viewership. Look at the success All My Children has had with making Erica Kane's youngest daughter a gorgeous girl-kisser, dating a dark and mysterious foreign bisexual! That's good TV, people!
So, please, add more lesbians to the TV lineup. It's only fair.
Sincerely,
An Annoyed Viewer
Beyond Self-Publishing
Check out ecoops.org for my article on amateur singing in NYC. See, other people like my writing, too!
Check out ecoops.org for my article on amateur singing in NYC. See, other people like my writing, too!
Arrrr!
Alert Reader Dave G. just let me know about an all important upcoming holiday, Talk Like A Pirate Day. Basically, on September 19, you talk like a pirate. I plan to refer to myself as Captain Jack Sparrow all day, if I remember.
Please note that on the "how to" page, there is a reference to a Singapore Sling. I would like point this out because most of the dumbass bartenders in New York look at me like I have three heads and they never passed kindergarten when I order one. The Singapore Sling is not an archaic drink, nor is it difficult to make. Get your heads out of your asses, New York bartenders! I'm not tipping you a dollar a drink just because you figured out how to mix a gin and tonic all by yourself.
Alert Reader Dave G. just let me know about an all important upcoming holiday, Talk Like A Pirate Day. Basically, on September 19, you talk like a pirate. I plan to refer to myself as Captain Jack Sparrow all day, if I remember.
Please note that on the "how to" page, there is a reference to a Singapore Sling. I would like point this out because most of the dumbass bartenders in New York look at me like I have three heads and they never passed kindergarten when I order one. The Singapore Sling is not an archaic drink, nor is it difficult to make. Get your heads out of your asses, New York bartenders! I'm not tipping you a dollar a drink just because you figured out how to mix a gin and tonic all by yourself.
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
You Say You Want A Revolution
You're sick and tired of reading about my exciting new life. You want to hear my thoughts on politics and the world at large. Well, I would write about those things, but I can't seem to give a fig about the California recall. Madonna French-kissing two bimbos on cable? Just the latest sign that she's over. Just like the other two.
Teenagers are doing just slightly more drugs. Of course, this article doesn't mention that those numbers have been down recently, rendering any increase a wash. Also, I would like to respond to the survey's author that I am perfectly comfortable with 1 in 4 teenagers using drugs. I would be less comfortable with a large number of airplane pilots, nuclear plant engineers or Presidents of the United States using drugs.
(OK, why am I smelling potatoes? There are no potatoes in here!)
I can't bring myself to care about Iraqi occupation, further al-Qaeda threats, Israel and Palestine peace trains or anything taking place in the Middle East. I am burnt out on world politics. No one seems to care what rational people think, and my roommate's cat is driving me batty. He just keeps meowing for no reason, and when I try to pet him he backs away, then he chases me around the apartment with his back arched and his fur standing up. What do you want, cat from hell?
Sorry.
But this is what I can think about. Gray's Papaya (a hot dog shop) on 6th Avenue and 8th Street has a huge sign (in fact, two of them) in their window praising Al Franken. If I recall correctly, it says "We Love Al Franken. We think you are 'FARE 'N VALANCE.' Can you believe those liars are from New York? Jesus Christ!" And something else I can't remember. That's all well and good. I think Fox News is ridiculous for suing Franken. But this is the same store that had similar huge signs in 1998 or 1999 that read "We Love Mayor Giuliani! We Are NICE New Yorkers!" I guess they're bipartisan . Very, very strange.
I can also say that I don't think it's funny that I had to wear a coat and long pants today. I knew I should have moved to Hawaii.
If I think of anything else that's bugging me, I'll be sure to let you know. Now I'm going to take a nap. I've been up since 6:30 am because of an audition. Like I could be a singing nun!
You're sick and tired of reading about my exciting new life. You want to hear my thoughts on politics and the world at large. Well, I would write about those things, but I can't seem to give a fig about the California recall. Madonna French-kissing two bimbos on cable? Just the latest sign that she's over. Just like the other two.
Teenagers are doing just slightly more drugs. Of course, this article doesn't mention that those numbers have been down recently, rendering any increase a wash. Also, I would like to respond to the survey's author that I am perfectly comfortable with 1 in 4 teenagers using drugs. I would be less comfortable with a large number of airplane pilots, nuclear plant engineers or Presidents of the United States using drugs.
(OK, why am I smelling potatoes? There are no potatoes in here!)
I can't bring myself to care about Iraqi occupation, further al-Qaeda threats, Israel and Palestine peace trains or anything taking place in the Middle East. I am burnt out on world politics. No one seems to care what rational people think, and my roommate's cat is driving me batty. He just keeps meowing for no reason, and when I try to pet him he backs away, then he chases me around the apartment with his back arched and his fur standing up. What do you want, cat from hell?
Sorry.
But this is what I can think about. Gray's Papaya (a hot dog shop) on 6th Avenue and 8th Street has a huge sign (in fact, two of them) in their window praising Al Franken. If I recall correctly, it says "We Love Al Franken. We think you are 'FARE 'N VALANCE.' Can you believe those liars are from New York? Jesus Christ!" And something else I can't remember. That's all well and good. I think Fox News is ridiculous for suing Franken. But this is the same store that had similar huge signs in 1998 or 1999 that read "We Love Mayor Giuliani! We Are NICE New Yorkers!" I guess they're bipartisan . Very, very strange.
I can also say that I don't think it's funny that I had to wear a coat and long pants today. I knew I should have moved to Hawaii.
If I think of anything else that's bugging me, I'll be sure to let you know. Now I'm going to take a nap. I've been up since 6:30 am because of an audition. Like I could be a singing nun!
Helter Skelter
Sorry I'm not blogging so much, but I've been hella busy. What with all the singing and the boyfriending and the other socializing, I barely have time to cash my unemployment check, much less think of meaningful things to write for you people. Ingrates that you are anyway. You could try writing to me once in a while (not you, Jeff Z.).
So, I'm going to write an article about sing along places in New York after I take a nap and learn 8 million new songs and buy some necessary paper products and print out lyrics and blog.
Here's where I'll be. Oh yeah, I got my own show!
Mondays
Stonewall Inn
Christopher Street between 6th and 7th Avenues
8 pm & 9 pm
No cover
Sundays
Super Size Sundays @ The Slide
Bowery and Great Jones, downstairs
Random appearances!
No cover
Thursday, September 4
Cattle Call @ Therapy
52nd Street between 8th and 9th Avenues
11 pm
No cover, talent competition with cool prizes!
Sunday, September 14
Grove Stock @ Cherry's
Cherry Grove, Fire Island
3-9 pm
$20
Wednesday, September 24 and October 29
Piano Bar Hell @ Pieces Back Room
Christopher Street between 6th and 7th Avenues
8 pm & 10 pm
$5, two drink minimum
Wednesday, October 15
My Own Cabaret Show! @ Pieces Back Room
Christopher Street between 6th and 7th Avenues
8 pm & 10 pm
$5, two drink minimum
Sorry I'm not blogging so much, but I've been hella busy. What with all the singing and the boyfriending and the other socializing, I barely have time to cash my unemployment check, much less think of meaningful things to write for you people. Ingrates that you are anyway. You could try writing to me once in a while (not you, Jeff Z.).
So, I'm going to write an article about sing along places in New York after I take a nap and learn 8 million new songs and buy some necessary paper products and print out lyrics and blog.
Here's where I'll be. Oh yeah, I got my own show!
Mondays
Stonewall Inn
Christopher Street between 6th and 7th Avenues
8 pm & 9 pm
No cover
Sundays
Super Size Sundays @ The Slide
Bowery and Great Jones, downstairs
Random appearances!
No cover
Thursday, September 4
Cattle Call @ Therapy
52nd Street between 8th and 9th Avenues
11 pm
No cover, talent competition with cool prizes!
Sunday, September 14
Grove Stock @ Cherry's
Cherry Grove, Fire Island
3-9 pm
$20
Wednesday, September 24 and October 29
Piano Bar Hell @ Pieces Back Room
Christopher Street between 6th and 7th Avenues
8 pm & 10 pm
$5, two drink minimum
Wednesday, October 15
My Own Cabaret Show! @ Pieces Back Room
Christopher Street between 6th and 7th Avenues
8 pm & 10 pm
$5, two drink minimum
Friday, August 29, 2003
A Very Special Blossom
I'm such a wuss. I just cried because of an episode of Moesha. What can I say? I'm easily moved by very special episodes of black sitcoms. Like that one episode of The Fresh Price of Bel Air when Carlton accidentally takes some speed Will had in his locker and has to go to the hospital and Phil is angry with Will and Will cries because he didn't mean to hurt Carlton; that gets me every time. Of course, it could have something to do with the bloody mary I was inspired to make this morning, but I doubt it.
(Stoli vodka, tomato juice, Worcestershire, Tabasco, horseradish, lemon juice, celery seed, fresh ground pepper, lots of ice, three green olives, and a lime wedge. Stir and sip.)
Obviously, I ditched the sick diet. You know, a bad diet is like a bad boyfriend. While you're with it, your friends are supportive and complimentary, but as soon as you get rid of it, they can't tell you what a bad idea it was fast enough. Anyway, my blood sugar got so low that I would start crying for no reason and my mood was zinging all over the place. Not worth it. I'd rather be happy than skinny any day.
I'll be at Cattle Call at Therapy (52nd between 8th and 9th) on September 4. I want to win, so come and clap for me! Also, this Sunday is the big roundup at The Slide on Bowery, which I would also like to win. If you want more info, just e-mail me at the "reach out" link above.
I'm such a wuss. I just cried because of an episode of Moesha. What can I say? I'm easily moved by very special episodes of black sitcoms. Like that one episode of The Fresh Price of Bel Air when Carlton accidentally takes some speed Will had in his locker and has to go to the hospital and Phil is angry with Will and Will cries because he didn't mean to hurt Carlton; that gets me every time. Of course, it could have something to do with the bloody mary I was inspired to make this morning, but I doubt it.
(Stoli vodka, tomato juice, Worcestershire, Tabasco, horseradish, lemon juice, celery seed, fresh ground pepper, lots of ice, three green olives, and a lime wedge. Stir and sip.)
Obviously, I ditched the sick diet. You know, a bad diet is like a bad boyfriend. While you're with it, your friends are supportive and complimentary, but as soon as you get rid of it, they can't tell you what a bad idea it was fast enough. Anyway, my blood sugar got so low that I would start crying for no reason and my mood was zinging all over the place. Not worth it. I'd rather be happy than skinny any day.
I'll be at Cattle Call at Therapy (52nd between 8th and 9th) on September 4. I want to win, so come and clap for me! Also, this Sunday is the big roundup at The Slide on Bowery, which I would also like to win. If you want more info, just e-mail me at the "reach out" link above.
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
The Call of the Wild
Sometimes the Kavorka is a great burden. Even gay men can't keep their hands off me. Maybe I should start wearing garlic around my neck. Hey, I like the attention, but it's getting ridiculous. Whistles, cat calls, and unintelligible compliments in foreign languages are one thing, but when a big homo is sticking his tongue down your throat, you have to wonder. I guess I'm muy caliente. Or it could be the booze.
No, it's me. I'm a hottie. Oh, the burden!
Seriously. Only hot people understand how hard it is to have people pawing and leering and drooling all over you. But, I must persevere. No baggy clothing and bad hair for me. I must maintain the standard of hotness that I have previously displayed, or let down my hot sisters and brothers.
No, I'm not drunk. What are you talking about?
Where was I? Oh yes. All I'm saying is, for God's sake people, it's not cool to kiss the straight girl in the gay bar! Sheesh! How am I ever going to live that down?
Sometimes the Kavorka is a great burden. Even gay men can't keep their hands off me. Maybe I should start wearing garlic around my neck. Hey, I like the attention, but it's getting ridiculous. Whistles, cat calls, and unintelligible compliments in foreign languages are one thing, but when a big homo is sticking his tongue down your throat, you have to wonder. I guess I'm muy caliente. Or it could be the booze.
No, it's me. I'm a hottie. Oh, the burden!
Seriously. Only hot people understand how hard it is to have people pawing and leering and drooling all over you. But, I must persevere. No baggy clothing and bad hair for me. I must maintain the standard of hotness that I have previously displayed, or let down my hot sisters and brothers.
No, I'm not drunk. What are you talking about?
Where was I? Oh yes. All I'm saying is, for God's sake people, it's not cool to kiss the straight girl in the gay bar! Sheesh! How am I ever going to live that down?
Sunday, August 24, 2003
What's Up?
What the hell's been going on? Well, I saw some of the HOWL! festival in the East Village yesterday, including Wigstock's glorious return to Tompkin's Square Park. That was a blast, even though I didn't get to see all of the show. A few local divas did a Laugh-In style party scene, including All-Beef Patty and Ginger from Lips, and Mirkala Cristal from Stonewall. I couldn't see it, but it was hilarious. Sample joke: "Hey Patty, what's the difference between Lady Bunny and a bucket of pig shit?" "I don't know, what?" "The bucket!" Who knew you could be that filthy that early in the day? Hooray for the East Village!
I just started doing the Induction phase of the Atkin's diet. I need to trick my body into thinking it's starving so I can jump start a little weight loss. I know it sounds bizarre, but I'm interested to see if it will work. I'm pretty good at controlling my eating habits when I want to; much better than I am at getting around to some exercise. I'm just going to do it for two weeks (I'm on day three). If nothing changes by then, I'm back on carbo-loading. I'll keep you informed.
Still not smoking. It's great. Seriously.
Great audition on Friday, and I got a new gig at a straight bar in Murray Hill. Heh. If you can tell me why that's funny, you win a low-carb cookie.
I haven't seen the news much lately, but I just realized I haven't blogged since right before the blackout. It was dark. That's pretty much it. I walked across the bridge from Brooklyn to Queens, was in a bitchy mood, and got utterly obliterated on Friday night. My freezer is so cold, we still had ice when the power came back on. I did hear Mayor Bloomberg talking out of his ass about supposed Canadian power-stealing. What a dill-hole.
Well, that's the news from Lake Wobegone via Greenpoint. If you want to see me, I'll be at The Slide tonight on Bowery and Great Jones, Stonewall tomorrow night at 8, and God knows where else the rest of the week. Kisses!
What the hell's been going on? Well, I saw some of the HOWL! festival in the East Village yesterday, including Wigstock's glorious return to Tompkin's Square Park. That was a blast, even though I didn't get to see all of the show. A few local divas did a Laugh-In style party scene, including All-Beef Patty and Ginger from Lips, and Mirkala Cristal from Stonewall. I couldn't see it, but it was hilarious. Sample joke: "Hey Patty, what's the difference between Lady Bunny and a bucket of pig shit?" "I don't know, what?" "The bucket!" Who knew you could be that filthy that early in the day? Hooray for the East Village!
I just started doing the Induction phase of the Atkin's diet. I need to trick my body into thinking it's starving so I can jump start a little weight loss. I know it sounds bizarre, but I'm interested to see if it will work. I'm pretty good at controlling my eating habits when I want to; much better than I am at getting around to some exercise. I'm just going to do it for two weeks (I'm on day three). If nothing changes by then, I'm back on carbo-loading. I'll keep you informed.
Still not smoking. It's great. Seriously.
Great audition on Friday, and I got a new gig at a straight bar in Murray Hill. Heh. If you can tell me why that's funny, you win a low-carb cookie.
I haven't seen the news much lately, but I just realized I haven't blogged since right before the blackout. It was dark. That's pretty much it. I walked across the bridge from Brooklyn to Queens, was in a bitchy mood, and got utterly obliterated on Friday night. My freezer is so cold, we still had ice when the power came back on. I did hear Mayor Bloomberg talking out of his ass about supposed Canadian power-stealing. What a dill-hole.
Well, that's the news from Lake Wobegone via Greenpoint. If you want to see me, I'll be at The Slide tonight on Bowery and Great Jones, Stonewall tomorrow night at 8, and God knows where else the rest of the week. Kisses!
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Ask A Stupid Question...
I'm all for provoking sensationalist dialogue, but RNN's poll question today is just terribly worded:
Could Iraq Become Another Watergate?
Well, let's see. Iraq is a country, the Watergate is a hotel. So, I'm saying, no. Probably not.
Or do they mean could the Iraq situation become another Watergate scandal? Again, situation in Iraq; war. Watergate scandal; political crime. So, I'm still not seeing the connection.
Could the situation in Iraq have the same consequences as the Watergate scandal? Considering that Bush's approval rating remains quite high in spite of the snafu that is the war in Iraq, I doubt he'll be pressured to resign. Or have I missed something in the past day or so? One of New York's tabloids featured a big picture of Bush cuddling his terrier today, so I doubt it.
This question sucks, but it is good for mocking.
I'm all for provoking sensationalist dialogue, but RNN's poll question today is just terribly worded:
Could Iraq Become Another Watergate?
Well, let's see. Iraq is a country, the Watergate is a hotel. So, I'm saying, no. Probably not.
Or do they mean could the Iraq situation become another Watergate scandal? Again, situation in Iraq; war. Watergate scandal; political crime. So, I'm still not seeing the connection.
Could the situation in Iraq have the same consequences as the Watergate scandal? Considering that Bush's approval rating remains quite high in spite of the snafu that is the war in Iraq, I doubt he'll be pressured to resign. Or have I missed something in the past day or so? One of New York's tabloids featured a big picture of Bush cuddling his terrier today, so I doubt it.
This question sucks, but it is good for mocking.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
I've Paid Enough
TheCounter.com has started charging to report my hits, and I refuse to pay for that kind of information. So, I need you, Constant Reader, to e-mail me once in a while to let me know that there's someone out there. Just drop me a line, let me know you're reading, tell me what you like about the blog, that kind of stuff. And remember, I love you.
TheCounter.com has started charging to report my hits, and I refuse to pay for that kind of information. So, I need you, Constant Reader, to e-mail me once in a while to let me know that there's someone out there. Just drop me a line, let me know you're reading, tell me what you like about the blog, that kind of stuff. And remember, I love you.
Damn Hippies
For the first time ever (and I pray the last), I agree with Ann Coulter. We should just give California back to Mexico.
Schwarzenegger? He's a pro-choice Republican married to a Kennedy who, despite his many years in America, still speaks with an often unintelligible Austrian accent. Arianna Huffington? Sure, she's smart and funny, but her anti-SUV campaign shows a radical nature poorly suited for governorship. Then there's Gary Coleman, Gallagher, and Larry Flynt, not to mention 190+ other nut-job candidates on the ballot. The recall is a stupid idea in the first place. It undermines the democratic process and just makes the country look even more out of control. Thanks California!
For the first time ever (and I pray the last), I agree with Ann Coulter. We should just give California back to Mexico.
Schwarzenegger? He's a pro-choice Republican married to a Kennedy who, despite his many years in America, still speaks with an often unintelligible Austrian accent. Arianna Huffington? Sure, she's smart and funny, but her anti-SUV campaign shows a radical nature poorly suited for governorship. Then there's Gary Coleman, Gallagher, and Larry Flynt, not to mention 190+ other nut-job candidates on the ballot. The recall is a stupid idea in the first place. It undermines the democratic process and just makes the country look even more out of control. Thanks California!
I Am My Own Personal Science Experiment
Since I quit smoking, I've had quite a bit of phlegm, mucus and whatnot choking me day and night. This is especially fun when I'm rehearsing. I knew that you cough a lot after you quit, but I wasn't clear on exactly why until my clever boyfriend told me. Smoking coats the cilia in your lungs with tar, which paralyzes them, slowing their rapid beating, which normally clears the lungs of debris. This is why you cough when you inhale smoke (if you're not a smoker). Since the cilia can't do their job, all sorts of crap -- like dirt and dust and pollutants -- stays in your lungs. When you stop smoking, the cilia slowly come back to life. In fact, you even grow new cilia. Those suckers start beating away again, and before you know it, your lungs are sweeping out the dirt. Thus, hacking like a consumptive whore.
Here's the thing: I'm very intrigued by this. I've been smoking for 16 years, and pretty heavily in the last 10. I know that over time the lungs can clear themselves little by little, but still, there has got to be a lot of junk in my lungs. Every day, I know they're cleaning themselves, and I can't wait to see how this all turns out. Will I be able to climb a flight of stairs without gasping for breath? Will I be able to sing better? Will it feel different? I feel like I'm my very own specimen in a science experiment. There's no way in hell I would compromise the project by having even one cigarette. Besides, I don't even want them anymore. I think my twisted relationship with cigarettes is finally over. It's too bad my mom couldn't be here to see this. Check me out: singing, not smoking, great boyfriend, terribly well-adjusted. Way to go, Alexia! Next thing you know, I'll keep up an exercise regimen and drop that extra 10 pounds I've been lugging around for the past 3 years!
Since I quit smoking, I've had quite a bit of phlegm, mucus and whatnot choking me day and night. This is especially fun when I'm rehearsing. I knew that you cough a lot after you quit, but I wasn't clear on exactly why until my clever boyfriend told me. Smoking coats the cilia in your lungs with tar, which paralyzes them, slowing their rapid beating, which normally clears the lungs of debris. This is why you cough when you inhale smoke (if you're not a smoker). Since the cilia can't do their job, all sorts of crap -- like dirt and dust and pollutants -- stays in your lungs. When you stop smoking, the cilia slowly come back to life. In fact, you even grow new cilia. Those suckers start beating away again, and before you know it, your lungs are sweeping out the dirt. Thus, hacking like a consumptive whore.
Here's the thing: I'm very intrigued by this. I've been smoking for 16 years, and pretty heavily in the last 10. I know that over time the lungs can clear themselves little by little, but still, there has got to be a lot of junk in my lungs. Every day, I know they're cleaning themselves, and I can't wait to see how this all turns out. Will I be able to climb a flight of stairs without gasping for breath? Will I be able to sing better? Will it feel different? I feel like I'm my very own specimen in a science experiment. There's no way in hell I would compromise the project by having even one cigarette. Besides, I don't even want them anymore. I think my twisted relationship with cigarettes is finally over. It's too bad my mom couldn't be here to see this. Check me out: singing, not smoking, great boyfriend, terribly well-adjusted. Way to go, Alexia! Next thing you know, I'll keep up an exercise regimen and drop that extra 10 pounds I've been lugging around for the past 3 years!
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Losing Their Religion
What does RNN want to know today?
Episcopal Church Elects Gay Bishop: Do You Agree With the Decision?
Well, since I'm not Episcopalian, it doesn't really matter if I agree, now, does it? Also, without knowing all the ins and outs of their religion, how on earth could I make an informed decision about the validity of the election? I will say that I'm glad the decision-makers overlooked the eleventh hour attempt to discredit the Bishop with a glaringly homophobic and -- at the very least -- exaggerated missive to the church. Way to be reasonable, Episcopal Church!
What does RNN want to know today?
Episcopal Church Elects Gay Bishop: Do You Agree With the Decision?
Well, since I'm not Episcopalian, it doesn't really matter if I agree, now, does it? Also, without knowing all the ins and outs of their religion, how on earth could I make an informed decision about the validity of the election? I will say that I'm glad the decision-makers overlooked the eleventh hour attempt to discredit the Bishop with a glaringly homophobic and -- at the very least -- exaggerated missive to the church. Way to be reasonable, Episcopal Church!
Monday, August 04, 2003
Catching Up With Alexia
Hola amigos, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya...
Nah, just kidding. But it has been a while since I've gotten personal. Some things I just had to blog about.
Today, I'm quitting smoking. Yes, I've done it before, but they say practice makes perfect, and I've had a lot of practice at quitting. Look, I'm going to be 30 years old in two months. I'm on the Pill. I have a huge cancer history in my family. I can't smoke in bars anymore anyway. This is just it. I still support other people's right to smoke, I just have to stop.
According to the lady who felt me up this morning, my breasts and my ovaries are just fine. Isn't that nice to hear?
In other good news, I'm finally getting my security deposit back from my old apartment. I was starting to get a little worried that I would end up on Judge Judy or The People's Court, trying to squeeze $900 out of two old Italian people. But I can breathe easier, knowing "the check is in the mail." Good thing, since I had to pay $200 for being groped today and $100 to get my headshots developed. Oy, does it add up!
Still blissfully happy with my boyfriend (what do you expect; it's only been 4 months!). We saw Motorhead, Dio and Iron Maiden from the New York Times skybox at MSG for his 30th birthday. METAL! It was super cool. The free booze and food didn't hurt either.
I've been out every single night since Wednesday, and it's not going to end any time soon. So very tired. Thankfully, I have plenty of time today to take a nice nap.
And that's life in Alexia's world right now!
Hola amigos, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya...
Nah, just kidding. But it has been a while since I've gotten personal. Some things I just had to blog about.
Today, I'm quitting smoking. Yes, I've done it before, but they say practice makes perfect, and I've had a lot of practice at quitting. Look, I'm going to be 30 years old in two months. I'm on the Pill. I have a huge cancer history in my family. I can't smoke in bars anymore anyway. This is just it. I still support other people's right to smoke, I just have to stop.
According to the lady who felt me up this morning, my breasts and my ovaries are just fine. Isn't that nice to hear?
In other good news, I'm finally getting my security deposit back from my old apartment. I was starting to get a little worried that I would end up on Judge Judy or The People's Court, trying to squeeze $900 out of two old Italian people. But I can breathe easier, knowing "the check is in the mail." Good thing, since I had to pay $200 for being groped today and $100 to get my headshots developed. Oy, does it add up!
Still blissfully happy with my boyfriend (what do you expect; it's only been 4 months!). We saw Motorhead, Dio and Iron Maiden from the New York Times skybox at MSG for his 30th birthday. METAL! It was super cool. The free booze and food didn't hurt either.
I've been out every single night since Wednesday, and it's not going to end any time soon. So very tired. Thankfully, I have plenty of time today to take a nice nap.
And that's life in Alexia's world right now!
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